What Not to Say to a Musical Theatre Kid
Musical theatre is a pretty niche hobby! If you compare the amount of hockey teams, martial arts facilities, and dance studios in one city, they likely outnumber the musical theatre programs by quite a lot. It’s no surprise that having a musical theatre kid can mean that parents feel a little out of their element, and we have always been passionate about supporting both our students and their families through musical theatre training. The most difficult element of a niche interest is that not everyone understands the nuance of parenting an aspiring performer and how best to support them. We want to share a few commonly used phrases, why they can be problematic, and what we recommend saying instead!
1. “Are you the lead?”
Asking a student if they are playing the lead character can be difficult because it puts the wrong focus on the intention of performing. We all want to support a student and show how much we believe in them and their abilities by asking them if they’ve taken on the biggest role in the show. However, this can make it seem like the lead is the only important role, and it can make a student playing any other character feel insignificant. All characters in a musical are essential and although each character brings something entirely different to the show, there is no need to create a hierarchy in casting. Musical theatre performers are invested in storytelling, not being the most important person on stage!
Instead, try asking: “What character have you been cast as? Tell me all about them!”
2. “How many lines do you have?”
Taking the time to read the script and get to know your show is an essential part of getting to know your character(s). We understand the urge to jump straight to counting lines. Although the number of lines in a show can seem like the biggest indicator of how good a part is, it can also be misleading. Some characters don’t say much but have a lot of stage time and play a significant role in the story. The most important thing for a young actor to care about when taking on a role, is how their presence in the story impacts the audience and the other characters. A character doesn’t have to be big to make big waves!
Instead, try saying: “Let’s explore the script to see what your character brings to the story, and what songs, scenes, and dances they get to perform in!”
3. “You would have made a better [leading character] than them.”
Musical theatre is not a sport. We are not competing and we actively practice supporting our castmates and not tearing them down. Although you may intend to express confidence that your young performer could take on a large role successfully, there is no need to create a competitive atmosphere in a space designed for students to demonstrate teamwork and artistry. It can be conflicting for a young person to hear this and only creates feelings of discomfort and jealousy.
Instead, try saying: “I think you are so talented, and I cannot wait to keep watching you take the stage and challenge yourself in different roles!” or “I really liked the song that the leading character performed, I’d love to hear you sing it. Would you learn and perform that song for me sometime?”
4. “When are YOU going to be the lead?”
Most students perform in musicals because they love singing, dancing, and acting. Surprisingly, the majority of musical theatre students do not pursue a career in the performing arts. Most students do musical theatre to make friends and have fun, and putting a timeline on their passions and successes can be really disheartening. The intention is of course to show how excited you are for your performer to take the stage in a title character, but most students aren’t actively training to take on bigger roles, and won’t necessarily land these big roles without additional work. Training and rehearsing are two different processes, and expecting different casting results without additional training is likely an unrealistic expectation.
Instead, try asking: “I would love for you to be the best version of yourself. What are your goals? What training or classes can we take part in to help you achieve these goals?”
Making these small adjustments can make a huge difference to the way our young performers experience musical theatre and how they perceive themselves and their self worth. Having goals and expectations are completely normal, but we can’t treat an art form like a competitive sport! However, if you’d like to see our best sports analogies for improvement in musical theatre, see our Score the Lead blog post. Musical theatre brings joy to so many students and nurturing that joy is a huge part of being a theatre parent! We wish you luck as you parent your theatre kid. You’ll probably need it. That, and a good pair of headphones!
